BULL MARKET
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET
A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING
The art of buying low and selling lower.
BANKER
A fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, and wants it back the minute it rains.
ECONOMIST
An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
CAPITALISM
Man exploiting man, as opposed to socialism, which is the reverse.
LIFE INSURANCE
A plan that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
BROKER
What my broker has made me.
DAY TRADER
A more socially accepted gambling addict.
STANDARD & POOR
Your life in a nutshell.
MARKET CORRECTION
The day after you buy stocks.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
Past year investor who's now locked up in a institute.
RICH MAN
Nothing but a poor man with money.
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